I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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