I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
