What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
