Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
