it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
