Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
