I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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