I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
