this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
