We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
