I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Let's get the cat blown out
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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