Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
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