Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
