So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
