Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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