Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
