I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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