I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
