ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
