I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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