who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
