Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
