You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
