apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
