the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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