I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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