Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
