i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
