between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
