oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
