is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
