I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
