i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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