wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
