dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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