Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
