I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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