Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
