We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
