If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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