it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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