we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
