either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
