How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
