I accidentally had phone sex last night
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize