Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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