I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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