It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
