Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I party with great urgency now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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