I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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