Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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