I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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