If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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