Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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