remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
