We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
