does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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