you mean i was at the winter classic?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
