Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
