butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
