and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
