Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
