I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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